Monday, October 12, 2009

From Nobel Peace Prize to Heisman??

Too funny not to post:
This just in!!
Obama wins the Heisman Trophy after watching college games over the weekend.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Resumes, Who Knew?

Today I used a copy of my resume to measure a toilet. It is the most use I have gotten out of the thing since being thrown (well, voluntarily thrown) into what can only be called a tornado of a job search economy. DH owes me, big time.

Friday, September 11, 2009


This is a young woman from my hometown of Brentwood, TN. She is doing AMAZING things. Please visit her website. If you feel so inclined, please donate money to her cause. I promise you will feel humbled and inspired by her story.

Friday, July 31, 2009


I can't tell you how proud I am to now live in the city with the trashiest version of Bravo's Real Housewives!

Image Source:

I don't know about you guys, but I think this lady is about to drop the "F" BOMB on that man! Stay classy San Diego, er, I mean Atlanta.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Dog Models..anyone?

I'm calling all casting agents, two dog models available for small sitting fee.
*PS - Stripper Pole lyrics coming shortly. Snoop Dogg will be in the HOT ATL in a couple weeks and I just know he will want to buy the rights to it once I stalk him down...

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Am I really Still At It?

So, it wasn't long before my return that I heard the new "hit song", that is currently listed on the Billboard Hot 100 list at #8 mind you, Birthday Sex.


I mean, REALLY?

I'm not even going to bother with the lyrics like normal, the name of the song itself is dumb enough.

Here's the link to the video though: Try Not To Groan.

I'm going to write a song too, I'm calling it, "Stripper Pole". Don't you dare try and use that, that is copyright biotches.

Monday, June 8, 2009

I'm Baaaaack & So Are Harem Pants??

We are finally back from our adventure in Europe.

I had seen the harem pants before we left. Various retailers attempting to sell the new "it" item.

I should have known I would see women in Europe, of all places (duh), wearing them.

I just wasn't prepared for the hideousness that would ensue.

I tried to turn my head, look at anything, ANYTHING including the naked man walking in the park in Barcelona, to not see these terrible pants.

They are like a train wreck, I rubbernecked my way past every pair I saw.

There was only one, I repeat ONE, lady that appeared to have come the closest to pulling them off.

Except your brain recoils and remembers what they are. Fugly pants. So, of course, she didn't pull them off but came so close I was scared. Scared for all of the other people that would see her almost wearing them and not them wearing her and then all of those people buying a pair.

What are they? A parachute for those random emergencies? Aladdin pants for that magical lamp? Quintessentially pajama pants without being called pajama pants??

IDK. My bff Rose.

Friday, May 1, 2009

I Think I Too Should Start A Shoe Line...

When did Redneck become "en vogue"? A pair of these suckers will run you upwards of $550. Dude, I can look like a redneck for FREE.

Monday, April 27, 2009


Eeeek. I was running in Percy Warner and saw a big black snake (feel free to giggle here all you pervs) hanging out on the left side of the road. Luckily it saw me before I realized what it was and slithered into the woods. Talk about motivational running.

I saw another baby snake today, green, it is going to be a big sucker. This time I was at Radnor Lake.

I haven't seen a snake in 10 years, since I saw a huge copperhead in the middle of west Texas on an outdoor basketball court and now I have seen snakes two days in a row. This has to have some sort of karma / folklore something or other associated with it.

Just a fair warning.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Nashville's Mexican Restaurants - A Review

In this review I will be concentrating on "up-scale" Mexican, which in Nashville means, entrees more than $6.25. These are the restaurants you will want to visit if you feel stimulated, maybe by your tax refund check that just came in the mail, or maybe just because LIFE IS GOOD.

Now, I will not be including Lime in this review. Why do you ask? Because this review isn't for the fusion types and it certainly isn't for paying for chips and salsa. This is for Mexican food, as in, Santa Anna riding towards the Alamo with a plate of hot fajitas in one hand and a tamale in the other people. Get with the program.

The grade is based on the same as the burrito review: 1) Value; 2) Taste; 3) Atmosphere

Rosepepper - F Overrated. Say it with me now O-V-E-R-R-A-T-E-D! (dun, dun, dundundun) The margarita's are the best thing there, then the outdoor patio. The taste is "eh", mostly because it is overrated. If you happen to stumble upon Rosepepper, you might be pleasantly surprised. But most people do not stumble upon it. The atmosphere is okay and the wait staff is too hipster for my Mexican restaurant taste. If I want hipster, I'll go to Fido or Bongo Java or watch the tweens walk by at Belmont. **DO NOT GO ON A WEEKEND NIGHT.** Here is my theory. People think it is good because they wait to be seated for an easy hour and a half and by that point, I would eat a CARDBOARD BOX. So, yes, I know some people will majorly disagree with me and I am sorry to offend.

La Paz - C The food is good and the atmosphere is good but it is a tad bit on the expensive side for my pocket book with entrees averaging $12 to $13. The "C" is simply because the value is on the high side for this restaurant. If you are willing to spend a bit more on dinner, then this would be a B+. Okay, maybe I am not being completely fair to La Paz. It is good but somehow the Green Hills location is really throwing me off. Es no bueno. As in, snooty Mexican? I don't know, I just can't upgrade it.

Cozymel's - B+ This is a chain but it is pretty good if you can't get your Tex-Mex in Texas. Like all chain restaurants, it lacks a certain "umph" but if you can get past that, I think you will enjoy it. The food is good and fresh tasting, none of that Mexican that sits in a disgusting vat of grease. The "+" in the grade is for being a chain, yet being delicioso despite the chainy-ness.

Rosario's - A- Don't get the two R's mixed up. Rosario's is definitely the better of the two. The value is good and you get 10% off if you have a AAA membership. The happy hour is a pretty good deal as well. The taste is pretty decent. And the atmosphere is nice with a relaxing patio and a very friendly staff. I love friendly staff. Okay, it would probably be a "B+" but everyone there is so darn nice. It keeps me going back...that and I live dos segundos away. And they have cactus as a garnish.

El Chico - A El Chico? What? I have never heard of that. You know why? The location is TERRIBLE. The atmosphere is "eh", I don't even remember a patio and I certainly wouldn't sit on it if they had one but the food is good. (Picture a view of Murfreesboro Road right before you hit Briley from downtown direction...yea...yuck) The "A" rating is because it is a little gem that most people don't know about. But take my word for it, the food is good and the chips are so nice and thin and crispy. How chips should be. I could write an entire blog on tortilla chips. But alas, El Chico has the best chips out of all of these places. Chili's comes in a close second but they aren't Mexican.

Cantina Laredo - Hesitantly anticipating at least an A - Click on this link and I dare you to TRY not to salivate. OH. MY. GOSH. Okay, straight talk time, this is a chain. However, most Nashvillians will not know this because they live under a restaurant hole-sized rock. Okay, to be honest, both of my parents were in the restaurant business and I am from Texas which has pretty much every chain imaginable so I have a leg up. Regardless, forget that this is a chain. You would never know. All of the Cantina's I have been to are seriously muy bueno. The location is set to open soon and I hope it does not disappoint.

I am sure I am leaving some out, I didn't even really get to the suburbs but most of those will fall into my next category, I Like My Mexican Real Thick and Juicy (so find that juicy double...anyone? Bueller? no, okay.).

Friday, April 17, 2009

Worth It.

The last minute or so of this is worth the wait. Who hasn't been here? Haha.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Thirsty Thursday Sounds Games...

are GONE.

That's right. Yet, somehow, they still touted the season opener over the radio as a Thirsty Thursday. The only thing thirsty about that game was my mouth. Because at $6 a beer (16 oz; $7 for a 20oz), I'm not drinking more than one and I'm certainly not going back. General admission was $8 despite the advertisement of $6, perhaps this price is only available presale. Either way, the new owners will find that their attendance is going to decrease.

The reason for omitting the Thirsty Thursday event is to draw more families. If you want to draw more families, well, a 7 PM game on a Thursday isn't the way to do it. What responsible parent is going to trek almost downtown to a shady neighborhood on a school night? Um, not many.

Solution. Leave Thirsty Thursday to the adults. Families can go to any other game. And if the new owners had any sort of ethics, they wouldn't have advertised the season opener as a Thirsty Thursday. That's called false advertisement. But hey, I guess you got people there. Too bad the word is out and now everyone knows you are a bunch of liars.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Star Sighting!

I definitely saw Martina McBride last night with her daughters at dinner. All I could think of was the song I Hope You Dance with her little girls twirling around. Except they are tweens and I doubt they would have twirled around for me if I had asked. But maybe I should have asked...

Now, if I could have a Nicole and Keith sighting, my life would be complete.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

What You Didn't Know You Are Missing

Remember Doogie Howser? Child prodigy doctor? Yea, he is on a show called How I Met Your Mother.

I am a huge fan and suggest that everyone give it a shot. Barney and Robin are my favorite characters.

Here is a quote to pique your interest:

Barney: Ted, laster tag knows no age restrictions, kind of like stripping in the midwest.

LOVE IT. I suggest starting from the beginning, watching a lot of them in the row is the best way to get into it.

In fact, someone used the tag pick up line from the show (Barney to random girl, "haaaavve you met Ted?" only the guys name was Chris and I had gone to college with him haha) on me at Mafiaoza's a couple of years ago and I was so flattered. I consider it the highest compliment that someone would try that line with me. Haha.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Oh My GaGa

I can't help it.

I love her.

Even more so because she is actually talented. Read here for more info.

Meanwhile, try and stop yourself from dancing to this. Yeah, didn't think you could.

Thursday, March 26, 2009


Me: Did you shave your eyebrows?
DH: Yes, it's better than not doing anything.
Me: It looks like you mowed a patch of grass.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Part I - Eating Through Our Kitchen

One of the many joys of moving is realizing that no, you do not want to take all of the food in your house with you. Thus begins the process of eating everything in our pantry and fridge and only replenishing items such as milk, break, and bananas (a staple in our house).

To make things even more complicated, we will be traveling for two months and then living with family after that until we get a house of our own. Thus providing further incentive to empty it all out.

This was our first main meal in the ~6 week process. And yes, we probably have enough food in our house to last that long.
As you can see, the theme is "hodgepodge". We have a lovely ensemble of hot wings made with frozen chicken and Texas Pete Hot Sauce and of course bleu cheese dressing, red potatoes cubed and cooked with olive oil and lipton onion soup mix (I highly recommend this, very delicious), and what else would pair so well with these things but spaghetti squash with margarine and brown sugar.
This meal was actually very good despite the "melting pot" of items. I'm dreading when we get down to eating the panko bread crumbs with who knows what else. The creativity is going to be bustin' out and I'm not sure if that is a good thing...

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Jack Daniel's - A Review

Okay, so this isn't really a review because I am 100% biased but if I were going to review Tennessee whiskey it would be based on 1) smoothness; 2) taste; 3) value; 4) how well it mixes with diet coke / can I take a shot of it without cringing; and new on the scale for whiskey 5) if I can drink it straight on the rocks.

In all aspects, Jack gets a big fat A+.

A couple of weeks ago, the DH, my cousin from Texas, his girlfriend and I had the pleasure of going on the Jack Daniel's tour in Lynchburg, TN. Lynchburg is located in a dry county so unfortunately no tasting ensued, well, until we got home and drank some of my Step-Dad's Gentleman Jack. As one tour guide said, "This is the wettest dry county around".

Check out some pics from the tour:

This is the spring where they get the water from to make the whiskey. Jack's statue is outside the spring, he was only 5'2"!

140 proof whiskey before it is "mellowed". I definitely singed some nose hairs just walking by that thing.

Fermentation process. That was one intense yeast smell.

Mellowing. The whiskey is mellowed over sugar maple charcoal that the distillery makes by burning a bunch of wood soaked guessed it, whiskey.

The barrels are made at the distillery as well and are seen here while the whiskey matures. Jack Daniel's has a green label, I'm personally not a fan just because I associate Jack with being delicious and the green isn't so delicious. But it is probably the best green label whiskey on the market.

This is a barrel of whiskey. You can buy an entire barrel of the Single Barrel whiskey for only $10,000. They ship you the barrel itself when you buy one and you get your name on a plaque in the room pictured here. WalMart Germany had purchased seven of these. Haha, I don't know why I find that so entertaining.

If I am ever able to purchase one, that barrel will be proudly displayed in my front yard.

If you ever get the chance, definitely go on this tour. You can purchase commemorative bottles there but regardless, it is probably the best "adult beverage" tour you will go on even though there is no tasting.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Education System - A Review

I'm feeling very "reviewy" lately so I'm rolling with it. As some of you may know, I am a Big Sister in the Big Brother Big Sister Program. I highly recommend this program but don't think about it unless you can actually be committed to your little.

On to the Review.
I went to visit my little at her new elementary school. This was probably the most entertaining 30 minutes I have had in my life besides the time I saw Jim Gaffigan or when Smashley Boyner developed what we now call the T-Rex.

In 30 minutes I learned that:
  1. Teachers ruin the lunch. We had to be quiet almost every five minutes. The kids at my table could talk to me since I am an adult. One teacher got so annoyed she made them put their heads down on the table. Every kid in there was no more than 10 years old. Um, did teachers miss that part in their college education where you learn that kids have a lot of energy? And you know, that maybe, they need some time to RELEASE IT.
  2. My little has recess twice a week. See above comment about energy.
  3. An eight-year-old she is in school with claims to have had sex with some other kid in the sandbox. EIGHT YEARS OLD. I didn't know what sex was when I was eight and sometimes I'm still not sure if I do now...(kidding of course)
  4. Kids are starved for genuine adult attention. All of them were word-vomiting what was going on in their lives to me. One little boy told me his father has 10 children with a couple of different women. The boy lives with his older sister who doesn't smack him with a shoe as much as his Dad did. Isn't that good news? Another little girl has an older brother that likes to smack her but her Mom usually isn't around to punish him when he does it. One boy's father lives in Florida. I have experienced this in my own life and I can tell you, especially for a boy, this is not a good thing. Unless of course he isn't being beaten with shoes because of the distance. I mean seriously, these kids need to be talking to someone about these things so they don't grow up dysfunctional adults.
  5. Teachers talk to children like drill sergeants. There is nothing fun about the classroom. Not all teachers do this of course but some of my favorite teachers were the ones that knew how to control the classroom without being Nazis.

There is so much more one can get into on this subject, I haven't even touched the tip of the iceberg. I guess it just saddens me that little lights are going off all over the country because of environments like these. A lot of these kids are "at risk" and frankly, they will stay that way in that environment unless they have an intense amount of perseverance.

Most of my lunch was fun and the kids are used to all of the above listed items, I just couldn't help but notice some of these things as I strongly abhor that teaching style.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Burritos - A Review

It is time for a burrito review. Anyone that personally knows me, knows that I LOVE burritos. For those of you unfamiliar with this thing called a "burrito", please proceed to the definition before reading.

For my review, I will not be including popular chains including:

  • Taco Bell - Fast Food chains are not included despite my love for the cheesy bean and rice burrito. Don't even get me started on the bell taking it off their dollar menu and reducing the net weight that was once an entire half pound.

  • Baja Fresh - Not good enough to compare.

  • QDoba - Again, does not compare and many of the burritos are not "traditional" nor is there one that combines all great ingredients. I'd have to order three burritos to get the one I want.

  • Salsaritas - Not good enough to compare. Terrible value.

Now, on to the review. The following burrito establishments will be graded on 1) Value; 2) Taste; 3) Atmosphere

  1. Chipotle -F Now, some of you may disagree with the failing grade of Chipotle. But quite frankly, the atmosphere sucks, chips cost extra and there is no salsa bar. The taste is okay. I get that some of you love the cilantro lime rice. But you know what, you can add cilantro and lime to any burrito at the other three chains.
  2. Baja Burrito - C Now, this is local to Nashville but I threw it in here because it is really popular. The atmosphere is great and includes a fun patio. The value is decent but again, chips are extra. The taste, well, it is okay but the effects of the food on your digestive system make the burrito a bad choice. Stick with the fish tacos or quesadilla.
  3. FreeBirds - B- Freebirds is primarily located in Texas with one of the original locations in College Station - aka - the location of Texas A&M. This location gets an A+. However, we are reviewing the chain as a whole. The other locations I have been to have a terrible atmosphere with the music playing entirely too loud. If I want to scream in order to have a conversation, I'll just go to a loud bar. I believe this became a problem AFTER one of the original owners sold out in 2007. The value is decent, you can get a ridiculously large burrito for not a lot of money. The flavor is decent but the atmosphere leaves a bad taste in my mouth cancelling whatever good burrito taste is millin' around en mi boca.
  4. Moe's - A Now, I know this may surprise some of you but Moe's has a little hidden weapon called CHIPOTLE RANCH. The atmosphere is okay, the value is great, especially considering chips are included and there is a salsa bar with some delicious tomatilla salsa. But the real closer is the ranch. It is delicious. So delicious, that the franchise located on North Shore in Knoxville, TN charges $0.50 to add it. If you order the kid's - sized burrito that comes with a miniature drink and cookie, they don't let you get rid of the cookie so you can have a normal size drink. Needless to say, that location gets a big fat F. That is the problem with franchises but whatever. Get the ranch and lots of it. I like to get that extra tortilla that has accumulated at the top and bottom of the burrito, tear it off, layer it on top of a chip and dip it in the tomatilla salsa. Heaven in my mouth. I don't even need the cheese, lettuce, pico, chix, black beans, etc. Just a softened tortilla with the ranch to put on top of a chip to dip in the salsa.

And there you have it people.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

New Addition

I have been a tad bit slack due to this cute little bugger. Her name is Scout after the little girl in To Kill A Mockingbird. She is part brown lab mix and part Australian Shepherd and will be three months on Friday. She is the sweetest little thing and has the most striking green eyes. Potty training is going pretty well but most of my free time is spent lounging around her just to make sure she isn't up to no good.

Like carrying a piece of poop in her mouth into our house...

Last week we babysat my Mom's dog so we had a brand new puppy, Zoe, and Daisy (my Mom's). The below is one of the few moments of silence that occurred in our house that week.

Oh, you like the purple / fuscia / lavendar couch? YOU CAN HAVE IT.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Exxon Valdez Part II

So, I remember learning all about oil spills and what they do to marine life in the fifth grade. And the pictures we were showed in class always showed how much of a mess they were to clean up. And the birds, the poor birds and their poor feathers.

Well, at least I thought I understood what a disaster it was until I actually experienced one myself.

In my kitchen.

I had the brilliant idea to try and make fried pickles, thank you Baby Fish Mouth. So, I put the oil in the skillet, just ho humming along make the batter, etc. When all of the sudden, I hear this loud POP.

And I look over and there is oil splattered all over the better quarter of my kitchen. Well, I thought, that was weird, maybe a freak occurrence. But I kept my distance just in case.

Well, it kept doing it! Apparently there was some water in the oil which causes it to explode like Old Faithful.

So, I took it off the heat.

Except there was oil EVERYWHERE. And it took forever to clean up and my floor is still a little bit slippery. And I don't even have any birds to wash off!

So, please, I am begging you, next time there is an oil spill, take a moment to let it really sink in how disastrous of an event it really is, just trust me.

PS - I started over and the fried pickles were delish! So were the pot stickers I made last night from Trader Joe's.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


Recently we got a Trader Joe's. If you have one, rush out now and go. I am obsessed.

Much of my life I have not been a huge fan of rice unless I got it at an Asian restaurant. Well, Trader Joe's has rice. ASIAN RICE. Okay, all rice is probably from Asia but this stuff is legit. Like, not Minute Rice.

I now understand why there are desserts made with this stuff, it is soo good! Salty, mixed in stuff, sweet, sticky, brown, fried, oh my goodness!

If you like hummus, Trader Joe's also has really good edamame hummus. I am going to try their pork pot stickers tonight, with rice of course. I'll let you know how it goes.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Two Equally Fantastic Yet Disgusting Things

Photog of The Shining Variety

So, these are some cool photographs that my friend took.

We'll call her Bashley Boverton. Okay, that isn't really her name. You'll see her real name though if you go to the website. I bet you can't guess what it is.

Cool Photography

PS - New poll over on the right. These are all things that I have actually heard my co-workers and / or managers discuss.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Baby, It Is F'ing Freezing Outside

I really cannot remember a time in my life when it has been in the single digits. (I have only lived in Tennessee and Texas, don't be so surprised)
I now know why women in Wisconsin know how to drink.
So, I raise my hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps high in the air,
Here's to you, mid-western real ladies of genius!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Poor Baby

As the DH is standing up: "Owww".
Me: "You need to stretch out your back, do downward dog".
DH: "That is like telling me to do Chinese".
Never a dull moment.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Brilliant...Or Moronic?

So, you don't need to watch all of this video to get the gist.

I saw this commercial yesterday while I was working out and I thought that is just silly and how lazy can you get?!

But the more I watched, the more intrigued I was. Let's step back a minute.

How many times have you been cold and watching tv but you don't want to expose your arms to the "elements" so you have to rig your set up and somehow put the remote under the blanket yet position yourself so that, from underneath the blanket, you'll be able to change the channel? And then when you go to change the channel you can't find the remote because it fell into some crevice in the couch?

Forget about the fact that you look a tad bit like a monk in these things. I think they're great. My only concern would be that when you get up it might fall off but as the infomercial shows, they clearly stay on.

The only example I thought was a little far fetched, you know, besides when she is holding the baby, is at the campfire. If you are cold enough to be sitting at a campfire, then you would be wearing a winter jacket. That, and the fire is warming the front of you so you'd probably want something on the back of you.