Monday, December 31, 2007


I'd like to digress for a minute about nerds. The term "nerd" has many associations, including a popular candy with several yummy flavors. Beyond the candy, there are many levels of nerd. I myself fall into a nerd category based on my ability to play an instrument, my inability to tan beyond a light pink color, my love of reading, and laughing hystarically at my own jokes.

However, there is one level of nerd, what I like to call the "uber-nerd", that is particularly interesting. Uber-nerds often work in the IT department and generally don't cohere well with anyone but uber-nerds.

For example, today I called our IT help line (due to further name change issues, see post on "Identity Crisis"). When the guy realized the problem, there were several outbursts (not kidding) including "OH MANNNN!!!" and "UGHHHH, THIS IS GOING TO TAKE A WHILLLLEE". Um, excuse me, are we not in a professional environment? What are you, 12? Get a hold of yourself man! Actually, all I did was make weird faces to myself when these outbursts occurred in disblief that a grown man was acting like such a baby. It took him five minutes, literally five minutes, to fix my problem. My new theory is that uber-nerds are often men with Mommy issues that didn't play outside enough.

Why You Shouldn't Drink with Your Relatives

5. Cousin calls her brother's new wife by the ex-wife's wife avoids cousin rest of the evening.

4. Maternal grandmother starts drinking Christmas Eve day at 10AM and proceeds to get herself...

3. Paternal grandmother decides to tell you for the fifth time, and anyone else listening for that matter, her theory on the Middle East.

2. After consuming, you and your relatives decide that you should eat something since the 1:00 afternoon Christmas meal. Thus, cheese, crackers, apples, and desserts are brought out. After devouring considerable amounts of cheese with said drinking relatives, you go home and proceed to have to use the restroom throughout the night. Had you been sober, you would have realized that un-Godly amounts of cheese is never a good idea.

1. Your great-uncle talks to you about make-up sex and how it is the best kind. (WARNING: When you get married, sex is no longer taboo and old people think it is okay to talk about it when you are around and with you)

Happy New Year's!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Identity Crisis

It has begun. Nothing good can come from changing your name when you get married. I went to Walgreen's to pick up a prescription during my lunch break yesterday. I called beforehand to give them my new last name because my credit card and license have been changed to my new, and not nearly as cool, "H", last name.

Upon arrival, I had to pronounce my new German last name several times. I also informed them of my previous, and much easier to understand, English last name in case they had it under that. Well, after several minutes of frantic searching and some spelling of my new last name, they could not find my prescription and had to make a new one.

Today at work, the IT department informed me of my new user name, also a result of my legal name change. My user name used to be HOLLAAE - very cool user name and something I have adopted as a nickname for myself. In fact, I get much enjoyment out of saying "HOLLAAA" to people and using it as a signature in e-mails to my friends. My new user name is HINDEAE. I had to pdf something to myself and couldn't log in under either name. And I'm a little ruffled by the fact that HINDEAE sucks as a nickname and isn't serving its purpose as a username.

Moral of the Story: Tell your husband that you are going to change your name and just never do it. If he questions you in the following months of your nuptials, borrow from Monica and tell him you went to the "Ministry of Names" and changed it. Then, maybe five years down the road, he will actually notice that your last name was indeed never changed. At this point, you have established your last name in your career and can justify NOT changing to your married name based on this fact. Depending on your line of work, you can even say that your fan base won't know how to follow you.

Thursday, December 20, 2007


These are my new running shooz, Asics Gel Kinsei 2. They pretty much rule and I will be able to kick everyone's arse come this April in the full. Okay, not everyone, but this year I'm not going to let those biotches with the strollers pass me. (PS - The MSRP on these babies is $180, I got them for $30 because my running store is clearing out their '07 shoes. Don't be jel, it's an ugly color on you.)


My dear friend, Simpson, has a blog. I requested to be a guest columnist and she denied my request. (Well, actually, she wanted to preview my column and I told her I wasn't going to put all that work into it and then have her turn it down.) So, voila! Here is my own blog.