Heidiwood - A True Story about a Nightmare that became Reality

Heidiwood.

I think I am actually speechless.

http://www.anchorblue.com/heidiwood/home.php

Oh wait, no I'm not. Are you f'ing kidding me?! I'm going to have to treat this like a powerpoint slide b/c I'm getting all riled up.

1. Much as 1+1 = 2 and a+b = c; ridiculous+donkey = redonkulous; cheap+heinous+trashy = heidiwood


2. The only person to successfully make a play on "Hollywood" is the Queen of the South herself, Ms. Dolly Parton's theme park, Dollywood. Get your own damn name Heidi, you aren't cool enough or famous enough to copy that.


3. LAME

Here is a haiku if you don't get it:

Heidi designs Clothes
Fugly Strippers Terrible
Someone Please Stop Her

Here is a visual if you STILL don't get it:

Word on the street, aka - go fug yourself, is that all of the runway models were Heidi look-a-likes. Ugh, I just vomited a little bit in my mouth as I typed that.

Someone needs to get control of this girl. I'm fine with her being a cast member on The Hills but this, this has gotten out of hand.

In fact, I see a class-action lawsuit against MTV for creating such a monster. They really should screen their potential reality t.v. stars for things like this.

As my grandmother would say, "Oh lawsy!".

As Christian would say, "This is NOT fierce".

As New York Magazine said, "It was bad. So bad".


My apologies if you now need lasik due to the heinousity of this post.