As most of you know, I like to frequent the dog park. Despite a post in which I described an unfortunate instance of a dog humping train, I still take Zoe about once a week. She gets to play, I get to unwind. It's a win win situation.
Until this past Saturday.
Something horrible happened.
And it didn't involve the dogs.
A certain individual who shall remain nameless because I don't know his name, was wearing jeans that were a wee bit too short.
That wasn't the worst part, shocking, I know.
This young man, let's call him "Joe the Plumber", sat down on a bench to chat to his lady friend. Except when he sat down, his pants dropped about 10 inches give or take a couple judging by the amount of ASS CRACK THAT WAS ON FULL DISPLAY.
I have never seen such horrible plumbers crack before! Not even when, on a separate occassion, a girl's thong was hiked up to her ears while she was bending over to get her dog!
It was HORRIBLE. One bystander commented that it was worse than gay porn which is pretty bad if you aren't into that kind of thing.
The worst thing about it was that it was actually a pretty chilly day, so HOW COULD JOE NOT FEEL THE COOL BREEZE SHOOTING DOWN HIS CRACK???!!!
I have come to the conclusion that he knew what he was doing and that he was more concerned with how his jeans looked from the lady friend's view than from THE REST OF THE WORLD.
Oh, MY EYES, MY EYYYYEEESSSS.
I'm still in recovery. The only thing that seems to be helping is my ass crack anon class.