Working for the Real Michael Scott

Today we have a guest blogger who works for a boss that has to be the inspiration for the character Michael Scott from the amazing show The Office:

If you are as big a fan of The Office as I am, you can probably recognize Michael Scott-isms in any person of authority at your job, and laugh behind his/her back slash also be embarrassed for his/her lack of appropriate behavior.

My boss, while well intentioned, often pulls out inappropriate comments and/or bodily movements at work...that's what she said. Ahem, anyway. It really comes as no surprise anymore to those of us in the office when Boss does things like oh, refer to a fellow co-worker that he dislikes as VD (co-worker's initials) since it stands for veneral disease.

Or instructing us that an employee can go f*&@ themselves if they don't like our answer to their question.

Or flipping people off while on the telephone with them to express dislike for what they are saying.

Or talking about inappropriate sexual ineuendo in reference to his wife, or any other previous sexual partner.

Or talking about how big the peen on his nephew was when he was born followed by "he'll be popular with the ladies". So really none of the following should be shocking...maybe we can blame it on the hormones* that I was offended by this:

Scene 1:
Me to FC (female co-worker): So the whole having a baby process weirds Husband out...
Boss (shouts from office): Did you tell him, "yes, it really does stretch that far?!"

Scene 2:
Female co-worker and I are having a private discussion, during which Boss barges in and sits down in the middle of my office trying to join in:

Me to FC: So what do you think about _________ (insert work related issue)
FC: Well, I... (interupted by Boss)
Boss: So do you think when you have the baby you'll be like this? (proceeds to hike legs up to waist and act like he is birthing a child)

Scene 3:
Boss: So have you thought about what will happen if you go into labor at work?
Me: Well, hopefully that won't happen...
Boss: I guess I'd have to deliver your baby...(then he proceeds into a graphic detailing of when his ex-wife gave birth to his child)

You might think to yourself "helloooo sexual harrassment claim!" but no. I just sit at my desk in horror everytime, hoping my child's ears can't pick up these conversations.

*I am preggers.