Friday, July 9, 2010

When Taking A Stand Bites You In The A$$

So, yea. I travel. A LOT. I time my airport arrival pretty perfectly most of the time. Key word: most.

It all started on a well timed arrival to Hartsfield-Jackson with a check-in 40 minutes prior to departure. You may say, 40 minutes??!! That is crazy! I saw, pff, it is AWESOME. In and out of security within 10, 15 tops. On the tram and to your gate within another 10, tops (and that is if you are going to one of the last terminals and the last gate people, trust me, I do this A LOT).

Except...sometimes...well, one time, stuff comes up. Stuff being randomly selected to do the "naked" scan. Um, no. TSA employees get paid poorly and I am SURE, that at some point someone is going to hyjack the naked scans and release them to some porn site or some pervert will enjoy the job a little TOO much. Needless to say, I rejected the scan. (foreshadowing)

Why, WHY, did I reject the scan???!?!!??? (and why was I selected? Pale white petite girls are so freaking DANGEROUS. You know, maybe I'll get some really great university to do a study on people of my stature committing terror crimes because I am willing to bet there ARE NONE.)

I got a personalized pat-down, whateves - welcome to every UT football game my senior year, and went on my merry way. (NO CLUE at this point that I was dangerously close to departure time. Because, HA, I just showed the TSA whose boss now biotches!)

Except, I got to my gate and it said CLOSED. And the regional airline flight attendants said I couldn't get on.

Me: Are you serious?? Oh man, I got held up at a security check!

Flight A. #1: Blink. Blink. Blink blink.

Flight A. #2: Sorry, that is policy, 10 minutes before take off. What time do you have?

Me: I fly all the time and this has never happened! They are usually still calling names. Dangit, okay, well, thanks. Is there NOTHING you can do so that I can get on the flight? (pulling out my cell) It is only 12:51!! You really can't open the door?

Flight A. #3: That is policy, maam, sorry. The plane is backing up now.

Me: Okay, thanks anyway. (Walking away, LIAR, planes do not back up four minutes before departure. I HATE regional carriers.)

So yea, I am sitting at the airport...hoping and praying I get on the next flight that is currently oversold as is the one after which also happens to be the last flight out today. I think next time I'll just do the naked scan. Lesson learned.

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