Gone Couuunnnttrryyy

How to be a country singer:

1. Write a song about "back where you come from".


2. Write a song about 9/11.


3. Write a song with some absurd word in it, like "badonkadonk" or "hootchie-coochie".

TA: Yea, "H", you're totally right!



H: Thanks Trace, I know. And btw, do you take whey protein? Because your biceps are OUT OF CONTROL.










And there you have it.*

*It dawned on me, as a spectator at the annual CMA Music Fest, that these three items were essential to the success of every country singer on stage**. That and some stupid t-shirt from L.A. that no real country man would be caught dead in.

**Except for Little Big Town. Because they did a Fleetwood Mac cover instead. That rocked my ever-loving, non-Country arse off.

Is it even possible to have an asterisk within an asterisk? Kind of like a P.S.S. or a mathematical equation with multiple parenthesis??