This just in: eating 3 cups of vegetables every day is OVERRATED. I used to LOVE vegetables and I am very quickly finding that I am OVER it.
Please taste better raw. I don't have time to cook you every night for work the next day. Even if I did cook you, I don't have time to heat you up and eat you as a snack during my work day. And I don't want to eat 3 cups of you, or "3 servinnggsss!" as mypyramid.gov and the director of our fitness center say to do.
Thank you for coming in an easy and affordable to snack on form. However, I am turning orange and my eyesight is NOT getting better. I don't like you anymore and I am ending this friendship. I don't like you cooked either unless you come in a vat of fat surrounded by onions and potatoes and a pot roast.
Dear Bloody Mary,
Hey girl, sup? I heart you. If I drink 3 cups of you, net the vodka, can that count as my 3 servings? Yes indeedy, why thank you! Count down to PeopleWaste, or as the boring people call it, SteepleChase, t-minus 3 days.
Sorry you got such a bad name back in the day but I shore am glad that they made a drink in your honor. Tell Ed and Liz holla!
Dear Italian Food / PF Chang's Leftovers,
See you tonight.