Announcement

This just in: eating 3 cups of vegetables every day is OVERRATED. I used to LOVE vegetables and I am very quickly finding that I am OVER it.

Dear Vegetables,
Please taste better raw. I don't have time to cook you every night for work the next day. Even if I did cook you, I don't have time to heat you up and eat you as a snack during my work day. And I don't want to eat 3 cups of you, or "3 servinnggsss!" as mypyramid.gov and the director of our fitness center say to do.

Love,
H

Dear Carrots,
Thank you for coming in an easy and affordable to snack on form. However, I am turning orange and my eyesight is NOT getting better. I don't like you anymore and I am ending this friendship. I don't like you cooked either unless you come in a vat of fat surrounded by onions and potatoes and a pot roast.

Love,
H

Dear Bloody Mary,
Hey girl, sup? I heart you. If I drink 3 cups of you, net the vodka, can that count as my 3 servings? Yes indeedy, why thank you! Count down to PeopleWaste, or as the boring people call it, SteepleChase, t-minus 3 days.

Sorry you got such a bad name back in the day but I shore am glad that they made a drink in your honor. Tell Ed and Liz holla!

Love,
H

Dear Italian Food / PF Chang's Leftovers,
See you tonight.
H